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![False Defeat [Portal Three Kingdoms]](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0555/1020/4467/products/c3d8e175-0dae-5668-9720-fd48379129c0.jpg?v=1641356836 "False Defeat [Portal Three Kingdoms]")
Best in 7 days
4.2 ★★★★★
Based on 882 reviews
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Product Reviews
★★★★★ 5
Gilbert conveys the principles of BFST in easily understood and engaging ways
Format: Paperback
Roberta Gilbert ' s book is simply transformative. Be forewarned, if you seriously apply Gilbert's principles from Bowen family systems theory your life will never be the same. Gilbert conveys the principles of BFST in easily understood and engaging ways. Your life and your relationships with others will become extraordinary as you become more emotional mature in your interactions with others. In short, an extraordinary book!
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Reviewed in the United States on January 5, 2015
★★★★★ 3
A bit repetitive
Format: Paperback
The Family Systems approach makes a great deal of sense and is very helpful. But this book seems to be somewhat formulaic - every case looks the same.
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Reviewed in the United States on September 13, 2013
★★★★★ 5
Extremely enlightening!
Format: Paperback
A psychologist recommended I read this book as my daughter and I were having issues. Wow! What you'll find in this book will change your whole thinking about relationships with family members. Very enlightening as to why we all behave as we do and what affect our behavior has on the development of our children. A MUST read for every parent. I bought a copy for each of our children and grandchildren to read.
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Reviewed in the United States on July 31, 2010
★★★★★ 4
Some good advice
Format: Paperback
Roberta Gilbert's "Extraordinary Relationships" offers useful advice for dealing with family relationships couched amidst an examination of systems theory. Although it is more technical than a lot of self help, it can be used by a general audience.
Gilbert examines the theory of Murray Bowen, who countered notions of individual psychology (like those of Freud) with the theory that personality develops as a result of a family unit. The nuclear family, like a herd of amimals, reacts against each other, speaking a common language that is known only to them. Children raised in that family then detach from the family to form their own adult relationships, where dynamics may follow the family system.
In order to heal adult problems, the author offers some practical advice, like taking the time to observe old patterns as they crop up (family Christmas fights come to mind) with the dispassionate mind of an observer. The author states that individuals will better be able to understand family dynamics and their role in them by doing this.
I've read this book twice, and it has helped me better understand my family, and my role within it. I would recommend it for those who are seeking to better understand their family of origin, and what they can do to improve their present life through understanding the past.
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Reviewed in the United States on November 9, 2002
★★★★★ 5
Good book
Format: Paperback
a very interesting book for the good reader.
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Reviewed in the United States on March 2, 2026
